Broken Friday

so many things to do so little time. memories of my past just came flooding back into my head ... pre-uni,uni,post-uni sighs.. so many things has changed even i have changed. listening to City of Angels soundtrack brings peace but yet brings all the sorrow back. i have lost so much yet and i am still loosing. nobody see's the inside, its all the outside. its hard to tell someone when ur hurting so deep. there is no words to describe my emotion. is this what humans feel every single day or at least once in their lifetime. what can i do to stop myself from loosing myself, does that mean anything? everyday i feel as if i could just reboot myself and start fresh and i mean rebooting and not going to sleep and waking up the next morning. rebooting as in going back to that tender age where u learn how u should be living ur life. learning how to not fall into the hole that is right there.

what do i mean? well when u fall in love.. u know u want it for keeps but u also learned ur lesson that u should never fall for just about anyone but what if that someone makes u feel special so special that u just can't help but fall. would u put ur lessons to good use? or just live and let live? somehow or rather it never works out. coz when u check ur checklist, that person has all the qualities that u want, has all the emotions that u need but yet its just not them. however bad u wanted it to be them, its just not your time and its not your destiny. then what do u do? close ur eyes and just move on. how far can u go before u stumble upon something else that catches ur eye but do u choose to ignore it and move on or stop to give it a try? if u ignore it that person could have been the love of your life. but if u stop it might ur worst nightmare. what do u you do? my little black books always tells me to try. no harm? except for a broken heart and broken dreams. its mendable no? so shoudl i try again now? strike while the iron is hot? i dont konw anymore. am so lost there is no way of finding myself.