I Post Freely This Time
what is love? i seem to really get a little hang on it now. somehow or rather i have never felt such an emotion coming over me before. the feeling is wonderful, its heart warming. its like melted chocolate dripping across the cold strawberry fresh from the fridge, warming it up like a cold cocoa on a cold, wet winter morning.
every moment i had to myself i would think what would it have been like if i had just stick to being myself and learning to understand that love is always and only meant for 1 person. i screwed it up so bad that i couldn't bring myself to forgive myself for hurting her the way i did. once wasn't enough i had to do it twice! sighs, i was just emotionally unstable whenever i am not with her. i need physical touch but somehow or rather me travelling to and fro was never enough. was it so hard to understand what i was going through. i figured i'd given myself plenty of excuses but it seems to me that those were just utter nonsense and only fabricated for myself to believe.
i regret every moment that i let her slip away from me. my mistake was to make her mine, posession is equally destructive as to ignorance. i grew up living to believe that if u don't love someone as much its always easier to let go and move on and that was exactly what i did or have been doing. from day one i learned that its easier to not fully fall in love cause u tend to heal faster when doing so.
i did exactly just that because i felt it was so easy to gain a woman's trust by just sharing life experiences. i went through alot when i was in australia, learning to live by myself and learning to adapt to other lifestyles and behaviours and cultures. was i ready? i had no choice... wait i did have a choice but i didn't know it then becuase there was me myself and i to guide myself. odd isn't it? more like a sad case of a innocent apple influenced by other evil apples to be rotten. who was influencing me? me myself and i again.. why so? well i didn't what was right or wrong? all i know is i don't wanna end up like some of my flatmates who fall in love and made really big big sacrifices and in the end loosing everything becuase the other fell out of love. i guess i am learnign from experiences of others but its not to my advantage ( well at that moment in time it was ). so learned that loving others or making them beleive u love them was so easy. the female species is the easiest one to conquer if u know how to make them feel the way they want to feel or they way they think the should feel. they are easily pampered and always ready to go the distance if they have an assurance (even a little) that ur there to catch them when they fall. i learned that along the way when i begin to open up back in my early years of uni.
it all started with casual encounters on irc then was the most popular chatting mechanism on the web. i started reading up on novels and learning the human responses through various chatting histories. i must admit that i fall in love easily especially if i click well a certain person and it tends to lead up the wrong ladder most of the time, but to call it love then i must say that i am easily infatuated by someone who has an air of confidence surrounding them. that was in the beginning of a beautiful relationship so to speak. haha.
every moment i had to myself i would think what would it have been like if i had just stick to being myself and learning to understand that love is always and only meant for 1 person. i screwed it up so bad that i couldn't bring myself to forgive myself for hurting her the way i did. once wasn't enough i had to do it twice! sighs, i was just emotionally unstable whenever i am not with her. i need physical touch but somehow or rather me travelling to and fro was never enough. was it so hard to understand what i was going through. i figured i'd given myself plenty of excuses but it seems to me that those were just utter nonsense and only fabricated for myself to believe.
i regret every moment that i let her slip away from me. my mistake was to make her mine, posession is equally destructive as to ignorance. i grew up living to believe that if u don't love someone as much its always easier to let go and move on and that was exactly what i did or have been doing. from day one i learned that its easier to not fully fall in love cause u tend to heal faster when doing so.
i did exactly just that because i felt it was so easy to gain a woman's trust by just sharing life experiences. i went through alot when i was in australia, learning to live by myself and learning to adapt to other lifestyles and behaviours and cultures. was i ready? i had no choice... wait i did have a choice but i didn't know it then becuase there was me myself and i to guide myself. odd isn't it? more like a sad case of a innocent apple influenced by other evil apples to be rotten. who was influencing me? me myself and i again.. why so? well i didn't what was right or wrong? all i know is i don't wanna end up like some of my flatmates who fall in love and made really big big sacrifices and in the end loosing everything becuase the other fell out of love. i guess i am learnign from experiences of others but its not to my advantage ( well at that moment in time it was ). so learned that loving others or making them beleive u love them was so easy. the female species is the easiest one to conquer if u know how to make them feel the way they want to feel or they way they think the should feel. they are easily pampered and always ready to go the distance if they have an assurance (even a little) that ur there to catch them when they fall. i learned that along the way when i begin to open up back in my early years of uni.
it all started with casual encounters on irc then was the most popular chatting mechanism on the web. i started reading up on novels and learning the human responses through various chatting histories. i must admit that i fall in love easily especially if i click well a certain person and it tends to lead up the wrong ladder most of the time, but to call it love then i must say that i am easily infatuated by someone who has an air of confidence surrounding them. that was in the beginning of a beautiful relationship so to speak. haha.
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