The little ol me

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee going back home tomorrow.. hehe.. gonna go have myself a party, a cookout even! hehe! feel the wrath of the cooking queens! let see, i got some research to do, send my car for servicing, get some numbers, get some quotes, get some food, a little grocery shopping and perhaps some chit chatting with old friends. dont know.. going clubbing @ velvet with a friend on saturday night after she buys me dinner in which she promised me before. haha. so much things.. gawd!

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. i miss ur hugs i miss when u'll me in ur arms and tell me everyhting is going to be alright i miss u listening to my ramblings and me listening to urs i miss hearing ur voice i miss u mocking me at times dont know.. i say i miss u when i feel warm inside like melted warm chocolate over the strawberry & banana at the party .

argh! words? what other worst possible time can it come too? lol maybe tomorrow ... you'll say you'll be mine! maybe tomorrow .... i wonder what did happen to my rose quartz, suddenly the emotions are all back.. did she program my crystal to ignite and release all what was once the past? old friendships are on the rocks, old love flames are returning in way that i am caught by surprise... r/s which didn't end on a good note are back to haunt me, some have already haunted me and leaving their prints on my life. what going on? why? why now? but if not now then when? so much has been out in the open in the last few weeks. someone said that i was too good for her, and i asked in reply to the remark whats so good about me that gets me in so much trouble? is loving someone with all of my heart so wrong? is it wrong that when i have given all that i have then i leave them that makes them so angry at me. if loving is all i can give i would give. give give give but i dont ask in ret...

I dont wanna run away baby Your the one i need tonight No promises Baby Now I need to hold you tight I just wanna die in your arms Here tonight Upon reading this verse what do you think it means? .

hhmm it was an early morning. went furniture shopping with cat in the morning after her havin her mom's fantastic mee siam! hehe delicious! we went to a couple of furniture shops at sungai kadut to just browse around.. we dropped by this place call mondi furniture stall and this guy called neilson attended to us. he was cheerful and witty and he smiled alot, not fake but genuine. it was a difference the previous person that attended to us, there was one who made a remark, "of course is pvc la, where got original leather at 600 dollars". that kinda got cat pissed! hehe we left almost immediately without even looking twice. we went to about 5 different furniture shops whereby 3 of them were of the novena mark. nothing much to offer though they have a large selection but the price wasn't just right there. but in which case i got myself a 600 dollar mattress which comes with a protector and 2 extra pillows and plus its stress static remover kinda matteress. lol ferra was ...

someday love will find you break those chains that bind you one night will remind you how we touched and still went our separate ways if she ever hurts you true love won't desert you u know my heart still longs for you if you must go i wish you love u will never walk alone I am always just right here just close your eyes and i right there in front of you.

this morning was a different morning. i realise that times have changed and i someone that i have never seen before. when i glance in the mirror i see the same clothes, the same smile but i see a different image. what has changed in me? learning to accept things? have i given up on what was once something that holds my heart in such a tight grip. i feel myself slipping away but i don't see myself falling apart. its new but yet its different. i wanan drive home, i wanna go home. perhaps this is what you call home sick. everything i ever wanted is back home. what do i want here? what do i have here? easy answer go home? but everyone's got to eat. ever watched initial d? then ending was something i wanted .. to take a drive into no where.. ever watch cars? wanted to take a drive until i break down. its been so many years that i have been on the road .. will i ever find a home? will i ever find that someone? each time i think i found it, i loose it. reasons are countless. am still ...

be bold, be strong, stay alive, don't let it linger for i am right here with you. :) carry on i will be behind to support you if you fall. i promise you won't fall deep just enough for me to catch you.

yay my air cond is working again! hehe. well the aircond here a little off the top. coz the tube is a little stuck so the water won't flow hence jamming the tube down the lane. lol! gonna go watch cars tonight again! yeahs for the 4th time. i need to set my record to be 5 times. why? don't ask, cause i dont konw either.. haha! but i do wanna wtch the last time back home. wonder will it wait for me arghs but am going to PG. blehs.. see how la.. might come back earlier on friday to catch the 10pm show if there is.. hehe.. hope and pray.. :P else i will fly? hhmmmmm not bad an idea..

80's, 90's are just my favourite. i grew up with them without realising it. how? dont konw.. 80's i was already listening to radio and my dad's old records. vinyl records mind u, yeahs those big black round cd looking kinda junk.. lol! waiting for the star to fall, joanna, knife, never gonna let you go, tears for fears i feel so young again. remember those days where wham has those stylish hairdo's. hair spray was a product all men should have on their dressing table. gawd those were the days! side track, dumb monitor keeps changing color each time i tap it with my foot.. red blue green pink yellow u name it its got all the colors! hahah well we gonna be squeezy in a while now coz my office getting 2 new people in and this is before we shift to kallang! yeahs kallang!!! oh gawd just when i shift closer to the office hahaha.. its soooooooooo funny! closer i am the further it goes... like playing catch me. well what else is new, been downloading old movies like despar...

what a week.. :) its thursday again and i am going to be in singapore this time. going to go furniture shopping with cat and going to a women's nite on saturday. prolly going to roller blade on sunday. been while since i last bladed, well after the massive fall i said some weeks back i'll have to becareful this time. have moved my notebook back home, so now i access teh web from home occasionally and when the wifi doesn't die on me. after acouple weeks of wondering around my block or probably further the white cat returns, gawd knows bringing whatever germs back. sighs, its like she has a bf out there and just came back after chilling out with the boy without mummy's permission. hehe what to do, couped up in the room with 2 other female and 1 newted male cat, she needs her freedom and she's a spoilt brat at it too. well, sent my bosses off on a 2 weeks long trip before heading back to the office to finish my meet joe black movie. its a sad movie but it was meaningfu...

"if only you had known .. i was there all along. u don't c me does not mean am not there ..." "tok nuncents and beingc rab be and marking no cummen cents" "laugh and world laughs with you, cry and u cry yourself."

I wanna make you smile whenever youre sad Carry you around when your arthritis is bad All I wanna do is grow old with you Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches Build you a fire if the furnace breaks Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

here i sit all alone in the empty room but not with an empty feeling. :) its been a while now... since i last had that empty feeling. perhaps its a change for a good thing. just downloaded desparately seeking susan.. starring my ever loving madonna darling. she is hot hot hot!! my bosses are going to watch her concert in nyc and in paris! arghs! soon i will be able to travel like they do but then i'd doubt she still be doing anymore promotional tours. *chants of madonna i love you* am suppose to be playing diablo but i guess am just over that for the time being. time to update my blogs a little since i ran out of time this morning. am contemplating as if i should be getting a mobile phone or a notebook. hehe been juggling between this thoughts for a while now and i finally submitted the request for my motorola v3x. hopefully all goes through well and i get the bluetooth headset, i get the 1gig memory flash and i get my in car charger. hehe its a package supplied by diners club and ...

oh gosh another day has gone by and after going to sleep at 5am in the morning am groggy! 5 hours into the morning dad got me up to go have breakfast with him. lol soon after breakie/lunch/brunch i headed out to pick up my new chiq.. LOL!! and then we headed on to summit to get my hairdo. i actually only wanted to wash my hair and i ended up with this funky hair style! mary had a total change and had her hair dyed even. heheh am next but it be done @ home coz i already bought my hair dye, am no blondie and this will be the last time i'll be blondie. did my hair did my chores did my fathers day did my travelling did my lunch @ shall we meet (san san twist my ears till it was rred!!) did my giggles/laughters about my relationships, its always entertaining! did update of my life or my plans or what am doing in the coming mths and where am going. oh yeahs going to bangkok in august with cat for a holiday.. yeahs! just a break from life that doesn't constantly hound me 24/7. work wo...

hhmmmmmmmmm due to time constraint again coz of over sleeping i will again summarize.. lol 1. clubbing 2. outing 3. driving 4. tiring 5. 1 utama 6. meeting up people 7. laughing my ass off 8. bought my 1:24 diecast of mater 9. bought my first bottle of club chivas! lol 10. drop the biggest hints but then nobody getting it. lol 11. the best day i've had in years! hehe an old friend picked me up from the bus station and she was in a semi-drunk mode when she did. sighs this was the same very same person who never liked me high. but that was years ago and all things have changed. another old friend started smoking/drinking when the time when we were togehter she hated me for smoking/drinking/partying. geez i guess time does really change someone immensely if they allow themselves to change. am different too so someone said but wht's changed? for the good or for the worst? hard to tell. dun 1 2 think 2 much life's 2 short to worry about something like this. .. lol .

MR Roger Chan, 50, was on a bus in late April in Hong Kong when his journey to infamy began. His tirade against a passenger was posted on YouTube.com. In the video, a young passenger later identified as real estate agent Elvis Ho, 23, taps Mr Chan on the shoulder and asks him to speak more softly into his handphone. Mr Chan turns around and launches into a stream of Cantonese expletives. The young man repeatedly apologises and says that the matter is settled. Mr Chan's reply: 'Not settled yet! Not settled yet!' became a catchphrase in cyberspace and on the streets of Hong Kong. The video, secretly recorded by fellow bus passenger Jon Fong, 21, quickly became one of YouTube's biggest hits, attracting over two million viewers, an English translation version and even a string of parody videos. Mr Chan was even given a job by a Western food franchise as a public relations officer after the video made him famous. But three men walked into the restaurant and assaulted him ear...

sighs, 4 pages long was the length of the letter she wrote to me, in hopes that i return back to her. i bumped into her at the lift yesterday evening as i was returning after a football game @ alternative. she wanted to talk but i couldn't even look at her. all the emails's she sent and all the sms'es which flooded my phone made me regret ever the more that i agreed to try it again with her. she requested that i remove her from my contact list's all over (msn and fridae and my phone even) and that i did ever so willingly but yet now she comes back hoping that i didn't delete her from my life. she had the courage to tell me that she "didn't" delete me from her phone, and that i mean so much to her. her teling me she hasn't sleep or got well from her flu, fever, cough, sickness and whatever bull crap coz for those who had seen her, she was soo healthy looking. sighs i dont konw what else ot say. obsessive should be the work i should be looking for he...

Life is a highway I want to ride it all night long If you're going my way I want to drive it all night long Watched it with someone else this time. hehe yeahs planning to watch it this weekend at tgv and at golden screen cinema's tooo. haha! wanna watch it everywhere i go! i love pixar what can i say? someone also said she was gonna watch it again! hehe yeahs!! cars baby!

guess what i watched cars again! :p lightning mcqueen.. kechiiiiiiiiiing!! :P woo hoo am watching it again tonight but with someone else. watch it with cat last night. hehe is ur name mater.. hehe oh wells nothing much to report, live goes on as usual..but i did some light readin about jealousy. it seems that jealousy only surfaces when someone is insecure about their own relationship. it also surfaces when the 3rd party has the qualities that the jealous person wishes to have. an interesting topic really when examples and researches. hehe.

had breakfast this morning and was listening to this chorus .... But I?m in so deep You know I?m such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger watched benchwarmers yesterday, had a good laugh. :) stupid show but what the heck, its a time killer. someone told me yesterday that she wished she could be just like me, the ability to drop girls like dropping stones. she apparently made a reputation somewhere, a pretty bad one so it seems. things changed, i was once like that but i abandoned that fact when i realise what was love and what it really felt like. :) cherishing the memories will be all that i will ever do. :) fight on.. fight strong... don't let it linger..

rofl!! just read back my post.. lol mr and mrs smith.. hahah i remember that. oh gosh i remember my place @ the condo.. lol! gosh what a change.. i miss home...

hey hey its friday again! and i am stuck in the office watching over my server. been a little down recently, prolly its the flu. so far everything has been good... life's been lovely. got myself 3 more new quartz crystals for my room. clear ones, not colored ones. will need to read up on the crystals first before i proceed to buy colored ones. i already have 1 rose quartz by my bedside. it seems that its to improve your love life, i just thought it looked nice with no other intention. why? well i have loved and now i am living... i wanna start learning myself now. world cup is just 4 hours away! where am i watching? at the local pub down town. heheh i can't wait! the game starts at midnight and i'd be here till round 11ish. cough still hasn't healed yet, i can feel it running up and down my throat tickling it as it moves. blehs! hehehe sighs its june already.. its been a year in fridae now, so much has changed. on this very day last year i was just contemplating if i sh...

4.30am am up, yeahs am up coz my hand was cramping.. lol! slept on my left hand and blood got stuck some where gave me pins and needles. couldn't sleep later on anymore so packed my room and decided am heading to office early, been wanting to head to the office early but never got the time too, always end up sleeping in .. bad girl. oh gawd WORLD CUP is on friday!! woo hoo i have more reason to visit the bar coz they have cable.. omg am so not going to sleep cause stupid wc is at 00, 03, 09 hundred hours geez what weird timings craps! now i wish i was working in a bar. haha! guess what there is a song called Size matters by Joe nichols the lyrics are just super funny! hehe its a country song its my new found genre of songs. :P zouk having femme quest tonight, i got a table anyone wanna join me? :P

CARS!! LIGHTNING MCQUEEN, SALLY, DINOCO, CHICK, DR .... OH YEAHS BABY PISTON CUP IS MINE!! LOL i watched teh sneak preview to cars! and it opens tomorrow.. i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it.. absolutely loved it to bits!! heheh and for those of u who plan to watch, sit till the end becuase the ending the snippets gets more interesting.. lol had dinner before that and before that worked hehe.

recovering from a 22 game haul of pool from yesterday i think i am allowed to post this blog late.. lol! tuesday now hhhmm let me see, so much happening today, oh yeahs! well lets see.. 7pm had a talk about breaking relationships, setting boundaries and learning how to give and take of some sort by some counsellor who seems to have been counselling since 1972 which is 8 years before i was born. lol! nothing much that he spoke about that i don't already know about technically but then again oh well he did mention about something interesting. what u might ask.. well clingers, some people cling on immediately when in a relationship reason that their partners are strong in some ways and then need their partners identity to keep them heading to a direction. immediate bonding and that gay relationships are naturally attractions of genitals. yeahs he said that. what do u think? i rather believe that lesbian attractions are more towards the intellectual conversations but then i might be wr...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5045728.stm Quote: Gyllenhaal, whose kiss with Heath Ledger beat real-life couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Joline's clinch in Mr and Mrs Smith, said the win was "a real honour". ROFL, hahah straight couple's can't kiss? hhmm the MTV awards peepz seems to think so. oh well better luck next time brad! hhmm i wonder how does angie jolie taste like on the lips? sand from tomb raider or dust from mr and mrs smith.. lol

omg 28 tickets because i decided not to work over last weekend. haha! amazing isn't it~! hahah and nobody was monitoring the website while i was away. 10 of us and nobody encoutered this problem how amazing isn't it? sighs okies it tells me next time to always bring my notebook back home becuase i am on duty 24/7. sighs crapz! oh wells for those who has problem with fridae.com photovaults request, my apologies becuase i wasn't paying attention to the scripts that i was editing.. hehe

hey hey its saturday and i am back home in KL.. :) sleeping endlessly into the late afternoon..yeahs.. almost didn't wanna wake up .. it was so comfy and not its not becuase of the aircond, that was switched off in the middle of the night coz it was 2 cold.. lol it was just the fan the sun and cute blue pillow.. yesh.. my fav blue pillow who follows me wherever i go.. u know something, after listening to the 40++ yo connie francis in concert am back into my oldies mood and country songs walk hand in hand by engelbert where the boys are by connie francis what hurts the most by rascall flatts the long way by dixie chicks recent pop album downloads are nick lachley nelly furtado and some old pop from phil collins.. been listening to tenors like andre something.. lol back to some russell watson for some alchemy somgs.. oh wells am heading out for dinner now, compiling some new cd's for my car to listen why i drive later on..i might be driving back into singapore coz bus tickets are...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5037350.stm I never knew there exist such surveys or medical research. If pain killers gives the risk for heart attacks then why develop them in the first place? Now i wonder if i have been taking 1 2 many pain killers? osh gosh bgosh!

walked out of the cinema, listening to the footsteps heading towards the door. how i wish the movie will never end so that i won't have to face the real world the world where i am drowning in am running around in circles still stuck in the shadows of my mistake all the meories rushing past me surfacing s the picture get clearer every step every look every breathe feels like a review of what was once a happy moment but now its broken but its not fading ths mistake just keeps playing over and over again. reminding me that i am not half the person i used to be waht was once my achievements is now my lock and key locking what's left of me in am going out of my mind will anyone take waht's left of me will i allow anyone to take whats left of me? how can i ever stand again. what hurts the most was not doing wwhat i did it was waht i didn't do it was just right there but i watched love walked out of my life i wanna cry but there are no tears left to fall i wanna scream out but...

what is love? i seem to really get a little hang on it now. somehow or rather i have never felt such an emotion coming over me before. the feeling is wonderful, its heart warming. its like melted chocolate dripping across the cold strawberry fresh from the fridge, warming it up like a cold cocoa on a cold, wet winter morning. every moment i had to myself i would think what would it have been like if i had just stick to being myself and learning to understand that love is always and only meant for 1 person. i screwed it up so bad that i couldn't bring myself to forgive myself for hurting her the way i did. once wasn't enough i had to do it twice! sighs, i was just emotionally unstable whenever i am not with her. i need physical touch but somehow or rather me travelling to and fro was never enough. was it so hard to understand what i was going through. i figured i'd given myself plenty of excuses but it seems to me that those were just utter nonsense and only fabricated for m...

what an eventful month indeed, in and out of relationships, arguments, adventures, shopping, praying, sporting, driving. so much has happened and i am begining to wonder is this the end of the line for me. finally the verdict has been reached and mutually we agreed that we shall part. yes i gave it another go and i tried to release what i call love into the air but i guess nothing was captured. it was said that i didn't release my past. that i have lost my ego and i have lost after winning so many in the past. whatever that was exchanged in the sms's were totally out of my expectations. how could you judge a book by its cover. after knowing someone for barely a month u tend to make your own judgements of what that person is feeling or going through. even friends for 10 years dare didn't judge me the way you did. they didn't come up with a conclusion that you did. how dare you? i didn't appreciate what you did for me? if i didn't you wouldn't have had the cha...