Its Friday
in about 24 hours or so i am going to face the one person that i truly love. though i know its to early to tell becuase i have said it over and over again that it doesn't mean anything anymore. maybe i should just refrain myself from saying it over and over again but yet again how can u refrain something that comes naturally?
been working non stop for the last 3 weeks. been making mistake after mistake after mistake. making myself miserable and this has been the most miserable month for the year 2005. cum 2006 it might be a little better but i do not forsee easy going workloads. sighs...
for the first time in my life i am unsure of whats to come. all i can do is prepare for the worst and prepare for the best. yeahs egoistically speaking i am being a bitch on the outside and a withering soul on the inside. some say i hide my pain very well, so well that even i myself don't know that am in pain until my memories are jogged by events, words, things, movements, sounds or even pain. weird isn't it?
as i sit here listening to engelbert singing please release me, it sounds so ironic, on one hand i want to let go on the other hand i want to hold on. lol i guess its called fickle mindedness and not ironic. hehe was born like that, its my speciality. its my uniqueness.
just watched chicken little on the big screen. its more worthwhile watching on dvd. trust me on this one. don't really need the sound effects of a magnitud sort. had crappy dinner after that then head home. dropped a msg but no reply giving it a guess that its the sounds of snores which i will hear on the other end, or perhaps the sound of a groggy voice. i missed that blur and confused look that i use to see every weekend morning. i miss that early morning smell clinging onto my shirt. i miss those early morning greetings. i miss everything..
how do u compromise the distance? how sure am i that i won't fall apart again? how sure am i that i am doing the right thing? follow my heart and feel the love flood in again or follow my head and think logically about all the possibilities and the barriers i will have to face in the near future. yes near future, don't wanna go any further coz i need to take 1 step at a time. jumping into conclusions doesn't help anything. it never does....
been working non stop for the last 3 weeks. been making mistake after mistake after mistake. making myself miserable and this has been the most miserable month for the year 2005. cum 2006 it might be a little better but i do not forsee easy going workloads. sighs...
for the first time in my life i am unsure of whats to come. all i can do is prepare for the worst and prepare for the best. yeahs egoistically speaking i am being a bitch on the outside and a withering soul on the inside. some say i hide my pain very well, so well that even i myself don't know that am in pain until my memories are jogged by events, words, things, movements, sounds or even pain. weird isn't it?
as i sit here listening to engelbert singing please release me, it sounds so ironic, on one hand i want to let go on the other hand i want to hold on. lol i guess its called fickle mindedness and not ironic. hehe was born like that, its my speciality. its my uniqueness.
just watched chicken little on the big screen. its more worthwhile watching on dvd. trust me on this one. don't really need the sound effects of a magnitud sort. had crappy dinner after that then head home. dropped a msg but no reply giving it a guess that its the sounds of snores which i will hear on the other end, or perhaps the sound of a groggy voice. i missed that blur and confused look that i use to see every weekend morning. i miss that early morning smell clinging onto my shirt. i miss those early morning greetings. i miss everything..
how do u compromise the distance? how sure am i that i won't fall apart again? how sure am i that i am doing the right thing? follow my heart and feel the love flood in again or follow my head and think logically about all the possibilities and the barriers i will have to face in the near future. yes near future, don't wanna go any further coz i need to take 1 step at a time. jumping into conclusions doesn't help anything. it never does....
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