Day One

what has become of me? am i a walking zombie with no feelings nor pain or am i just hiding the sorrow that i feel, i want to cry but tears doesn't flow, maybe i am not in the right time and place to do so, i don't want to cry, i won't weep becuase its not my tears to weep. i don't want ot weep the tears as i still have a life to go on with. i shall carry this scar and in my soul from now on. it may be a handful but its mine and its mine alone.

i shall walk the path i was destinied to walk a long time ago. what goes around comes around. everything sounds so familiar, sound so casual of course , i said it a thousand times over the few years of my life. i guess its time for me to feel the pain and anguish that the others have felt when i played this recording to them.

as i sit alone in the dark, i light myself a candle to view the darkness around me. any breathe of mine would blow out this candle and i will lie in darkness again. i found the light but i covered it so tight over and over again with my own hands, i watch myself build the cover over and over again and yet i am unable to see that the light was fading. what was i doing? was i so used to the dark clouds over me or that the bright lights blinded me so badly. here i sit laughing at my cowardness and bravery for all the wrong things. here i stand drowning in my own sadness.