Delerium - Silence
I don't know if its just be being over jelaous of am i just seeking attention in the feemest way possible. (throwing tantrums).
That very night well so to speak last night as a a night i just wanted to spend some time with you and may it be over the phone or may it that i fly over that very instant but that wouldn't be very logical would it? You weren't there. where were you? you didn't sense my urgency? u didn't sense my need? am i so bad at giving hints?
well u left. to see someone else. (isn't that the right term?) and i was left alone in my room. so i decided to venge my anger out but i had no output. i didn't want to jeapordize my relationship over small matters so i decided to just let you know a little earlier that ophelia is interested in joining fridae. yes my ex ophelia. well that didn't seem to bring about anything so i guess that was that. made a few calls and a rough plan was formed but it didn't turn out all that well. so i went to sleep.
but come to think of it, this is the first time i have really felt left out by you. it isn't something i would be proud about. why? well this is a part of me which i have tried to just tell you about for a while but i never had the right timing for it. i guess this time is just about it. i have this tendency to fight back when i am on the loosing end. what am i loosing? simple time. i travel to and fro from and to kl every weekend to spend time with you so that i don't loose that "time" with you. but it seems to me like your having a jolly good time every other night especially when u have an afternoon shift the next morning or when ur not working the next morning.
true to the fact that i dont mind that but there must be a line drawn, most probably i should start having late nights of my own. i haven't had one of my own in a while now. and i mean a real while. the last time i went out to a club was last month if i am not mistaken, when i first got to know sam and we go out quite a number of times, but all in preseverence. other then that i have only been on badminton nights. thats about it. yeahs i definately should go out now. minimizing all social contacts isn't doing me any good nor is it towards this relationship.
yet on the other hand i know for a fact if i shoudl wonder and i have an empty bed at home and no one else to watch my every move should i just be truthful or should i just play around? but i nkow if i do it, u can very well do it on ur own. question is do i want to do it? so should i just stay home and be a good girl? hahaha.. what a tricky question. i don't like loosing and i know that for a fact.
life is just unpredictable isn't it. maybe i should do less trips to kl. that would help improve my friend's status here in singapore where gays and lesbian runs wild and free.
yes am expressing anger at this very moment. pure anger and jealousy which boils and runs very deep into my soul. its my nature. you might think its ridiculous but i think its natural. am still a woman and i still feel like one no doubt about that. u might shoot me back and say that i should have my own late nights. well i will just say yeahs ur right. Its always me, am always the trouble maker. am i right? life goes on.
i am just wondering how come u don't go out as much with debbie and wei ling anymore? since u have the car, u went out with the same person for 2 nights in the row and the fact she followed u back to pj to have a drink with you pj. it might be out of sincerity but then on the other hand i don't know. i really don't know how to feel or react or think, maybe just over reacting as usual but i don't know. i don't know of anyone who would spend 4 hours just to accompany you while u wait for me. i don't know anymore i just really don't know. maybe its repaying a favour, maybe its out of boredom maybe is just coincidence absolutely, maybe anything i don't know.
this is just fucked...
That very night well so to speak last night as a a night i just wanted to spend some time with you and may it be over the phone or may it that i fly over that very instant but that wouldn't be very logical would it? You weren't there. where were you? you didn't sense my urgency? u didn't sense my need? am i so bad at giving hints?
well u left. to see someone else. (isn't that the right term?) and i was left alone in my room. so i decided to venge my anger out but i had no output. i didn't want to jeapordize my relationship over small matters so i decided to just let you know a little earlier that ophelia is interested in joining fridae. yes my ex ophelia. well that didn't seem to bring about anything so i guess that was that. made a few calls and a rough plan was formed but it didn't turn out all that well. so i went to sleep.
but come to think of it, this is the first time i have really felt left out by you. it isn't something i would be proud about. why? well this is a part of me which i have tried to just tell you about for a while but i never had the right timing for it. i guess this time is just about it. i have this tendency to fight back when i am on the loosing end. what am i loosing? simple time. i travel to and fro from and to kl every weekend to spend time with you so that i don't loose that "time" with you. but it seems to me like your having a jolly good time every other night especially when u have an afternoon shift the next morning or when ur not working the next morning.
true to the fact that i dont mind that but there must be a line drawn, most probably i should start having late nights of my own. i haven't had one of my own in a while now. and i mean a real while. the last time i went out to a club was last month if i am not mistaken, when i first got to know sam and we go out quite a number of times, but all in preseverence. other then that i have only been on badminton nights. thats about it. yeahs i definately should go out now. minimizing all social contacts isn't doing me any good nor is it towards this relationship.
yet on the other hand i know for a fact if i shoudl wonder and i have an empty bed at home and no one else to watch my every move should i just be truthful or should i just play around? but i nkow if i do it, u can very well do it on ur own. question is do i want to do it? so should i just stay home and be a good girl? hahaha.. what a tricky question. i don't like loosing and i know that for a fact.
life is just unpredictable isn't it. maybe i should do less trips to kl. that would help improve my friend's status here in singapore where gays and lesbian runs wild and free.
yes am expressing anger at this very moment. pure anger and jealousy which boils and runs very deep into my soul. its my nature. you might think its ridiculous but i think its natural. am still a woman and i still feel like one no doubt about that. u might shoot me back and say that i should have my own late nights. well i will just say yeahs ur right. Its always me, am always the trouble maker. am i right? life goes on.
i am just wondering how come u don't go out as much with debbie and wei ling anymore? since u have the car, u went out with the same person for 2 nights in the row and the fact she followed u back to pj to have a drink with you pj. it might be out of sincerity but then on the other hand i don't know. i really don't know how to feel or react or think, maybe just over reacting as usual but i don't know. i don't know of anyone who would spend 4 hours just to accompany you while u wait for me. i don't know anymore i just really don't know. maybe its repaying a favour, maybe its out of boredom maybe is just coincidence absolutely, maybe anything i don't know.
this is just fucked...
Comments
Post a Comment