The little ol me

I never thought I could feel dull aches in the heart, its been a while since I felt it. Hmmmm Imma thinking .. I never thought I could still feel warm fuzzy feelings

friendship relationship hardship spaceship steamship ownership courtship ships here ships there ...

Jealousy can appear whenever we have a passionate fondness for someone, as common in loving friendships as romantic relationships. When we love anyone from a naked and non-controlling place in ourselves, we open our hearts to the unpredictable, untamable course of love. Jealousy activates our primal dependency issues and often a sense of infantile defenselessness. It can make us feel crazy, and do crazy things, because it taps into our uttermost vulnerability—our fear of potential abandonment. When we think that someone will steal someone away from us, or that someone else will become more important than us to our beloved friend, we can feel helpless and powerless. We face all the ways we feel inadequate, unattractive, and unlovable.

What a whirlwind 9 years it has been but I still love the job that I do daily, should I go or should I stay? Will they keep me on? How far can I go? Will they allow me to go far? Would I be content? Would I wanna grow? I love the people. Maybe I need to pick a new skill?

It ended a long time ago but I was just too stubborn to see and make the change and after doing so regret to some extend the consequences of my actions. This was what I've wanted to happen so that we can both become better person. It takes two hands to clap, it takes two to tango and it takes two sticks to make a pair of chopsticks. What is my take from this r/s? getting into a comfort zone is a bad thing, it changes the person you are into a person that you would not have recognise a few years down the track. Never let go of your personality, make some tweaks but don't change completely, it will only get you lost in what you forget initially ever wanted but then in having said that I did the exact opposite. I tried so hard to move forward but I eventually take 2 steps back. Some people will always wanna feel special on their birthdays only even if you try to make everyday or every other day a special one, to some degree that the arguments just leads to more grief and unhap...

Today was the day that I took your plates away. You will now belong to a new owner. You have served me well and very well to that. I will miss you but life must go on. Went to VicRoads today to hold my personal plates whilst I gave my ex-car a new normal rego plates. I feel sad. But in comes my new Love of my LIFE! Finally after such a long time I get one to call my own! It's an additional $17,500 out of pocket for a car change. Is it worth while? I hope so. Hope this baby takes me through at least 3 years without any serious issues. *cross fingers*

I'd like to know what I’m getting if its something important to me However on the other hand sometimes I don’t care the extras that I get or if I am short changed   I believe things happen for a reason and I don’t get it then I don’t get it. I am not fuss about forcing one to give it to me.   I think I like to micro manage so I know I don’t have to clean up after someone.   I like to know a little bit of everything.   I swore I’ll never hurt you but thats exactly what I’ve done but I can only do it cause I loved you.   Don’t think I’ll ever find someone, not in this lifetime, perhaps the next.   There is so much more to come my way and wake up each morning looking forward to it.   An adventure awaits me on the other side of this rainbow.   Today will only come once seize it or forever lose it.   Excuses are for those who cannot live up to expectations. If your late be honest about it and try hard...

Almost a year ago I got you. A year on and I still think you look rather dashing! I can't wait to drive you to Sydney and back.

Just a note that both of my GROM side mirror screw threads were a left handed thread so they are did not fit any of the right handed screws when purchasing after market side mirrors. My fault for not checking prior, would always think everything would just work. Silly me. Had to pay an extra $10 shipping another set of M10 1.25x screws. Blehs. http://www.rideitmoto.com/products.php?id=12 I bought the CNC BIllet Side Mirrors.

My first vet event for the year.

I can understand when a third world country floods due to heavy rain but when a first world country floods I believe its just bad planning. http://www.smh.com.au/business/the-economy/risk-room/sydneys-greatest-perils-floods-and-storms-20161109-gslxrz.html http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-38541333

http://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2016/03/empathy-sociopathy-and-psychopathy/476235/ The problem with those who are devoid of empathy is that, although they may recognize what’s right, they have no motivation to act upon it. Where empathy really does matter is in our personal relationships. Nobody wants to live like Thomas Gradgrind—Charles Dickens’s caricature utilitarian, who treats all interactions, including those with his children, in explicitly economic terms. Empathy is what makes us human ; it’s what makes us both subjects and objects of moral concern. Empathy betrays us only when we take it as a moral guide . Two other recent books, “The Empathic Civilization” (Penguin), by Jeremy Rifkin, and “Humanity on a Tightrope” (Rowman & Littlefield), by Paul R. Ehrlich and Robert E. Ornstein, make the powerful argument that empathy has been the main driver of human progress , and that we need more of it if our species is to survive .

I removed total finder as I believe Yosemite has upgraded its finder app and its a lot more useful now with the tabbing feature inbuilt. If I could I would use native apps where possible. The few things that the finder didn't have that I used is copy paste functions but nevertheless I can ignore them as I don't use it as much, however the sort feature with the folders on top was a must and I found a quick hack. http://mygeekdaddy.net/2014/10/16/change-yosemite-finder-app-sort-order/ sudo plutil -convert xml1 /system/library/coreservices/Finder.app/Content/Resources/English.lproj/InfoPlist.strings   alter the strings to add a space before the word "Folder" sudo plutil -convert binary1 <the same file> sudo killall finder load up finder and sort by kind and we're on our way!

you make juices.. yes i know but its not the juice making its the process of making the juice that irks me.

much has passed since i was last writing how i feel on this blog .. brexit, my parents, my relationship, my friendships, people who have come and gone in my life, my past, my future, my dog, my experiences, marina's columns which i've starting reading on, listening to death song over and over again. working late and getting in late in the morning makes it feel like the day ends rather quicker, have told myself to wake up earlier but it just never happens. will i regret it in time to come? having worked myself so hard has helped me to get where i am today and i am not for one to ever regret what i've done. there is always tomorrow until you stop breathing. my father speaks of himself not living past 70 sort of triggered something in me which leads to me to believe if i am ready to die? i had a quick shock in the last month with my months long swollen lymph node which required a ultrasound which followed by a CT scan as they couldn't ascertain what it was. on the da...

its been a long time now .. starting to get restless.. somethings changing.. something needs to change. short attention span maybe? curious? trying to be adventurous? life's short, need it to be filled with things to do, places to see, people to meet? what becomes when you stop listening .. do i disappear into the silence or return from the void with a brand new life? will i ever find a resting place? some place i will always come home too? will i always wanna venture? will there always something else i'm after? can i ever be content?

sudo apt-get update sudo apt-get install php-pear php5-dev pecl install oauth-1.2.3 (the latest configuration is for php 7) /etc/php5/apache/php.ini extension=oauth.so sudo service apache restart

Receive this email this morning and I thought to myself hhmmm I don't remember booking with Cathay Pacific at all in my entire lifetime and yet I'm receiving this today. I wonder who leaked my email address and why did Gmail let it through? How did Gmail let it through? 

I want this! But Sami says no.. why? Its so so so KAWWAIIIII!!!